23 April 2005

Brendhan is a car

Brendhan got left out of the conversation about cars 2+ years ago and I guess I feel guilty so I gave it some thought. My initial reaction was to blurt out, "You are obviously a BMW 750, sleek and sophisticated yet incredibly powerful under the hood." But that's not true. A BMW-guy is a bit of a phony, trying to be sporty despite the inability to hit a mid-range jumper and a fear of the blue slopes. That's why they play golf.

So, the best thing to do is define Brendhan. He's pretty put together, has a complicated history, and is frugal. He's honest and a good guy, meaning fairly accessible. He's successful and good with kids. That's definitely a high-end car, but not a BMW. I'd put it in the luxury ranks, Lexus, Mercedes, Cadillac. I'll rule out Lexus because I don't like Lexuses and I like Brendhan. Cadillac is wrong because he's not that old. And I'll settle on Mercedes because I know the Mercedes line pretty well.

Let's rule things out first. He is not "sporty" so CL and SL are out the window. {Brendhan, don't worry, this doesn't mean you can't play sports, it means you're not a Marina dude.} C-class is for chumps who should have bought a high-end Volkswagon. The Mercedes M-class sucks so that's out.

This leaves E and S. Let's tackle engine size first. We already agreed that he's frugal so he'd definitely be the 6 cylinder 350. So, is he luxurious like the S or cutting edge like the E? I had an S-class and it had so many features that there was always something getting ready to break; this sounds good since Brendhan is definitely complicated. But he was a punk rocker and no self-respecting Punk-turned-VP would drive the top-end luxury car; that's like living on Country Club Lane or Scenic Drive, it's just something you would never put on your return address label. If we settle on him being the less fancy of the two classes, he might need to compensate by being a bigger engine so we'll consider the 500.

So, Brendhan is a Mercedes Benz E350 possibly upgrading to the E500. This is not definitive so comments are open.


Anonymous said...

Hmmmm, as the first person to ever post on your blog, the pressure is overwhelming.

Thanks for the well thought out, but completely off the mark Mercedes comparison. I see myself as more of an Accura Legend.

Tim Rickards said...

Maybe one of those new Acuras, but not the Legend. That was the first of the reasonably priced "I've got my self-esteem stuck up my ass" cars. I remember in the early 90s when we all figured that Acura drivers had to pass an asshole test to buy one. Don't know if that's true any more.

I think B might be more of a Saab.

Anonymous said...

In the words of Click and Clack, "where's there's smoke, there's a SAAB".

The Legend was understated, yet still a bad ass car. I think you're confusing it with a 3 Series BMW.

EVK4 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
EVK4 said...

The Legend was a Honda with a big markup.