Despite all my back-room shenanigans, I don't really have an opinion on what boats should be in the Olympics. Honestly, I didn't think they'd take my "training wheels" comment seriously and ban multi-hulls? Who would believe a darned thing that a leadbelly said? But, what happened happened, we just have to live with it.
Since I apparently have such great influence, I'm willing to use it for the greater good, or mirth, whichever comes first. I'm going to write the definitive tome on what boats should and shouldn't be in the Olympics. Without knowing which ones actually are now AND with help from commenters.
In my last post, somebody mentioned no pontoon boats. Deal. They're out. While we're at it, all boats that involve drinking are out: jetskis, barges, the Valdez, houseboats, and clipper ships.
I've already taken care of multi-hulls but they have cousins. Frickin' proas? Kick them to the curb. Outrigger canoes? Gone.
I hate boats that can sink. J-24s are out. Anything that drags lead around (including the ever fashionable Newport 28) is forever banned. Go Positive Buoyancy!
I heard you have to be in incredible shape to sail a Star. Screw that. Sailing should involve doritos and light beer. Ditch the Star.
No boats named after Nordic people just because of the Angry Norwegians of Horta. The Finn is out by association. No boats that are unpronouncable...yngling, what the hell is that? And I don't like boats without a name...470 and 49er are a-goner.
I'm a well-read guy for the most part but Shakespeare and sailing should not mix (he's just not existential enough) so out goes the Tempest.
I think that leaves the Laser. But why saddle sailors with an inferior boat when they can have a Force 5? But there is safety in numbers and the Laserettes sure do have a following. But all concerned (errr, well, Joe at least) maintain that the Force 5 is a better boat.
This gives me an idea to improve the Olympics. Why make it country v. country, aren't there enough forums for nationalistic battles in this world? We should have all sailors pick a boat, Laser or Force 5, and battle for Olympic Glory and Dinghy Supremacy.