04 September 2007

OK, Who's Bleeding?

Entering the marina after a very spirited sail on Labor Day, I had a moment of calm. Finally, no more chop, we were a bit more sheltered from the wind, and I could relax before the always harrowing docking experience.

So, I stood up, stretched, looked down at the cockpit seat and yelled out to all crew: "OK, who's bleeding?" There were a bunch of crescent moon shaped bloodmarks on the fiberglass. First thought was "crap the kids are running around barefoot and that looks like a heel mark." The kids (three of them) all checked themselves and no blood. J. (two of the kids' Mom) looked herself over, no cuts. I did a quick check, I wasn't bleeding.

We had a mystery. The Case of the Phantom Blood. That's the best I could come up with at the time. Actually, I still don't have a better one. Unless you go with The Manpri Mystery.

What the hell is a manpri? A manpri is like a man's version of capri pants. Longer than shorts, shorter than pants. What does that have to do with this? Well, I've never grown up and still wear skateboarder shorts that are way too long, way too baggy, and about 4 inches too big in the waist. So they sag and it turns out, they cover my knees.

I'd been bleeding since I dropped the jib 5-10 minutes before and had to kneel on the nonskid (hey, it works!). In fact, it had been so long that the blood on my knee was dry and even the blood that had been soaked up by my baggy shorts was dry.

The moral of the story is two-fold:
  1. It's time to buy shorts that fit
  2. Boats bite


Lonnie Bruner said...

I can't count the number of times I've left blood on the boat. In fact, I did it two days ago.

Brendhan said...

According to my wife, and I'd assume your wife as well, chicks don't dig the baggy shorts look on suburban dads. I still refuse to throw away those great shorts I got at Banana Repulic though.

Anonymous said...

b, you are right, but these are things that you guys will only realize in your own sweet time and, I guess, when blood is involved. unfortunately, as we talked about actually getting shorts that fit, edward got all twitchy and said he didn't need any now. SO CLOSE!

Carol Anne said...

All the times I've been chided for having loose hair and/or loose clothing that might get caught up in the running rigging, I've never heard a male sailor receive similar criticism -- it's as if men aren't susceptible to the same hazards.

I just had a really bizarre thought -- if hair and clothing were removed from the picture, it would be men, and not women, who would be most in danger of something dangling and getting caught up in the rigging.

Be glad it was just your knees.