Records are not meant to be broken

There's a minor dustup over at Sailing Anarchy about world records and whether you should root for someone trying to break your record. Whenever discussions about world record voyages have come up in the past, I have pointed out that I am the current world record holder for the fastest solo sail from Slip J106 to the Berkeley Marina Breakwater. My point being that it's as arbitrary as the "smallest solo circumnavigation leaving from points North of Oriental, NC in a eastbound direction stopping only at tropical locations."

But this latest dustup brought up a real scary idea to me. I no longer reside in slip J106, somebody else owns my speed demon Catalina 22 and might attempt to break my record. I need a way to stop him.

Rapscallion saved my bacon with the incredible suggestion of VOODOO. I have to stick needles into a model of a fixed keel C22 to keep her slow. It'd be mighty unfair to stick them below the waterline, I don't want the boat to sink. So I have to go after the sails, maybe running rigging. Or could I do the opposite of needles and just epoxy gigantic barnacles to the hull to slow her down? Does voodoo work that way?

Either way, I'm off to the workshop to build an exact replica of C22 Hull 15K...I then need to sneak on board and get some fiberglass DNA to infuse into the model and a voodooing I will go. My record will be safe. Oh yes, my record will be safe.